You've been warned.
Dear Bloggers,
The only person that ever finds what you have to say interesting IS YOU.
Great, you write a blog about what you do from day to day. Who the fuck cares that you woke up two minutes after your alarm clock, but your stay was still as monotonous and pathetic as it has always been?!
NOT I, MY FRIEND.
Your baby is cute, but come on, nobody wants to waste their time reading about the shitting patterns, styles, consistencies, and colors of what is coming over of your new little ball of fun with a trendy name's ass. "Oh look, little Jaden or Braden or Rollerskaden crapped up his strained bullshit and I'm going to rub it in my face. Or maybe I should, because it's the only substance that will ever come this close to my brain!!"
Guess what? Anime isn't great enough to dedicate an hour of your time every day constructing a fantasy life about yourself with pictures you stole from another manga-slut. Do you know why you do this? YOU'RE FAT. If you spent that hour running around in circles in your bedroom everyday, you'd lose some of that body mass, where I assume you store all of that insignificant knowledge of Crapanese culture. Wow, now that you look socially acceptable, try meeting someone. Wow, real life is more fun than fantasy! Who would have thought!!
I know the irony of the situation is that I currently am scripting the first entry in my new blog, but I am entering this situation fully aware that nothing I say will ever capture the heart and soul of the internet community. I will write about things that won't interest you, possibly because you will refuse to see yourself within my words.
"Oh, Jessabelle. You write letters to groups of people that IN YOUR OPINION deserve the words you say. Not everyone believes that. You are so one sided. Why don't you learn to accept people for who they are, I mean, you're different."
I say, "You simply do not understand, then. If you take me seriously, you deserve what I say about you."
So remember, you are not captivating.
Love,
Jessabelle Penelope
I promise I can be intelligent, eloquently spoken, and caring.
