Suck it

I've had my first brush with recognition. 

Too bad I will never want to do photography for anything more than a hobby/favors.

Congrats to my friends Making Movies and myself for making it to the front page of myspace.

I need some intelligent input, people.

I tend to spend a lot of my free time watching and reading the news. I try to keep away from the biased networks and focus on the facts.

This is for you America:
STOP LISTENING to the stories that have no intellectual value.
It's obvious how I feel about religion, and it should not come as a shock to you that I think religion has no place in governmental practices. I don't believe in organized prayer in school, I support gay rights, and I am pro-choice. This does not make me a "terrorist" or a "crack head."

AND WHO'S TO SAY THAT I LACK WHOLESOME VALUES BECAUSE OF MY GODLESS LIFESTYLE.

This goes both ways, Jessabelle.
I know this. I do not think that all religious followers are brainwashed. I do not consider "the right" to be a group of bible thumping Nazis. I do not demean your way of life.

I would just like to say that this accusatory bull from extremists in the media is so misinformed it's disturbing.


Al Gore is apparently making crazy German women jump into polar bear exhibits.



People actually believe this?



And...of course, the homosexuals are brainwashing America.
That's right. I can not think of any other group or organization that has had a significant amount of control over the minds of a society.
No one...NO ONE but the homosexuals have done this...because they are terrorist crack heads attacking wholesome values.

Oh, some days I'm quite ashamed that people so ignorant and so mislead call themselves American.

I wish the best for you, I really do.
Read some real literature and a newspaper for once.

Sincerely Red White and Blue,
Dirty-Terrorist-Hag-Jessabelle.

Wait, what?

Dear Easter:

The story of Zombie Jesus is great!
I'm just glad a huge chunk of the world celebrates this joyous occasion of the living dead with bunnies and candy and eggs??

Dude, J.K. Rowling needs to write a Bible...it's right up her alley.

And whilst I devalue your holiday as much as I can...............


My collection.


Zombie JESUS!


Keith!


Hand print.

I love Zombilicious Holidays!

OhManOhManatee

Lamin' it up on YouTube.

Sure.

I’m in the middle of piling up all of my own personal opinions (but of course!) and facts to write an invigorating hate letter to women.
Until then….
I’m gonna be shallow!!

For 2009, I’ve been taking a sabbatical from the opposite sex. No, this doesn’t mean I’m the newest member of the ILOVEVAGFOREVERCLUB!
Just…relaxing.
Isn’t it crazy how I can be perfectly content being independent.
SHIT, man.

So…
Dear my mister far, far into the future:

I want you to…

Be knowledgeable about Foreigner songs and sing them dramatically with me whenever I feel like it.
Have a western shirt collection comparable to my compilation of cardigans.
Think Megan Fox looks like she smells like a used pair of gloves at an abortion clinic.
Match up to/challenge my cynicism.
Have the ability to maintain a moderate amount of facial scruff.
Care a bit more about quality than obscurity.
Disregard the “hipster gangsta” trend completely.
Have no problem looking classy once in a while.
Be a fan of art but understand that 99% of art is meaningless crap.
Prefer movie night over dance parties and bar hopping.
Debate with me.
Understand that “dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun” is the infamous drum breakdown in In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins.
Own at least three non-comical ties.
Never have owned a Metallica album.
Be at least six feet tall.
NOT have a crush on any of my female friends.
Have semi curly hair?
Have no problem with my intelligence level.
Make fun of people who flaunt their originality by using STUFF that other people have made to achieve such image.
Pee outside on command.
Take me on people watching and hiking dates.
Read in bed.
Give me space.
Exist.

Or just be this man.